This video (see at the bottom of this page) is the most narcissistic video I’ve ever made of myself! Or not? Despite the enormous stage fright I’ve always had, I was ironically on stage for more than 20 years. Usually solo, but also regularly in band formation with inspiring people. Nobody ever noticed anything about me, but inside I went through hell nine times out of ten. Making myself vulnerable by interpreting my own songs often touched my deepest fears. Shortness of breath, clammy sweaty hands, dizziness, panic … I have regularly endured a performance hyperventilating. Always driven by an inner passion, I gathered courage every time and followed my path. Performing was an opportunity for me to overcome fears. Many times I was told by the listeners that they were so moved, and that gave me courage! Performing was getting better and better for me and I got to know more and more beautiful people over the years. At one point the fear was no longer chronic, but came up unexpectedly every now and then. I could never explain what I was really afraid of.
Reference as proof
This video is a reference to myself as proof of the strength within me that has always proved stronger than the fear. Very often my strength took over from the fear and I could actually enjoy a performance (or at least some of it). Nowadays I know I ám the strenght instead of the fear.
All life is a big stage
With this video compilation I present myself very vulnerable in the hope that it invites you to also want to be vulnerable. You may not be a musician or an artist, and you don’t need to take the stage to overcome your fears. All life is a big stage, a game on which you can play your game. My vulnerability hopefully invites you to dare to be yourself and to trust what you are capable of. Because you are just fine as you are and you also have a strength that you may not know about? Daring to be yourself is unthinkable for most people. Let alone dare to actually live your own truth.
In this video you will see and hear never-released-demos of my songs, photos and video fragments of my performances, private life and photo shoots. For those who completely missed my artist life: this is a good first introduction. For those who have always followed me and / or regularly attended gigs: thank you for your support! Perhaps fragments will come along that you will remember? This video is part 1 of the period 2001 to 2010. Part 2 will follow shortly.
Hopefully there will come a non-corona time in which I can regularly enter the stage again to share my songs live with you all.